Everything You've Ever Wondered About a First Look

Oh the first look. Arguably one of the biggest debates among weddings today is this question of: to do a first look? Or, to not do a first look?  And, you can probably make a sound argument for either side.  As a wedding planner (and former bride!), I have a strong stance on this topic.  But, I wanted to bring in a pro to also weigh in with her professional opinion and view points.  I've asked Charlotte wedding photographer, Crystal Stokes of Crystal Stokes Photography to help me answer common questions and clear up some misconceptions about the first look.

1. Let's start with the basics.  What is a first look? It is a private moment between the bride and groom prior to the wedding ceremony.  The photographer and videographer are the only other individuals around to capture this intimate meeting when you get to see your soon-to-be spouse for the very first time.  It's usually a bit staged so that the photographer and videographers can have the chance to capture your reactions as you see each other.  Basically, my clients will trust me to seek out a beautiful location for this moment to happen, and I do my absolute best to get them away from the crowd so they can be alone in this moment together.  Typically, I will place the groom somewhere with his back to the bride, and she will approach him and either tap him on the shoulder, or ask him to turn around to see her.

 2. Why do a first look? What are the pros?  A first look is advantageous for brides and grooms who want to get formal photos taken care of quickly.  The first look is helpful in a couple of ways.  Not only does it give the couple the opportunity to join the cocktail hour or reception more quickly, in order to enjoy the reception longer and to spend time with their guests who all travelled in to celebrate with them.  But, most importantly, it can also ensure that a couple doesn't run out of day light so that they can take all the photos they want out of their day.  A first look also will typically give a photographer more time to do what I like to call the "romantic shots".  You know, the ones that when you finally get your wedding photos back you immediately search for while skipping the others because at the end of the day, your wedding is about your marriage and the person you are committing to spend forever with - and having extra time to create those beautiful photos is really incredible and valuable! Another big pro is that the first look helps couples remain calm on the wedding day.  Nerves can often get the best of people on their wedding day, and I've seen those nerves settle on multiple occasions when the bride and groom were able to hold each other before one of the biggest moments of their life.  It really is a beautiful thing!

3. But, won't doing a first look ruin the big reveal? It won't feel as special when the ceremony time comes because we've already spoiled the surprise. I do not think that the first look ruins the big reveal.  There is something so beautiful and fresh and life altering that happens the moment a groom sees his bride walking down the aisle during the ceremony, among loved ones, for the first time. Perhaps he just saw her moments before the wedding, but that doesn't change the magical moment that happens when their eyes met moments before becoming man and wife.

 4. Any other advice you have to share with brides on the topic of a first look? Or anything you want to share with brides to help demystify the first look debate? A first look is a wonderful thing, and I believe that it really depends on what you want from your wedding day and the timeline you want to keep.  I know some couples want to remain very traditional - and I've noticed that the groom more often than the bride wants to wait until the walk down the aisle!  And, if tradition is a top priority, then I never push to change that. However, if a bride is on the fence about which direction to go, I absolutely let them know the benefits of a first look.

I wanted to add a little something, too!  Brides, I echo and want to further explain my personal and professional preference for the first look.  I have never met a photographer that did not prefer a couple to do first look. That is a fact!  I can tell you from experience being a bride that it does not in any way ruin that special moment at the church when you're walking towards your groom.  For me, I got to experience those butterflies and have a whole new rush of emotion all over again once the church doors opened!  I've seen brides visibly become calmer and more natural once they got to see and touch their groom.  The first look is meant to be an intimate time where you can take a deep breath together, and really take a moment to pause for just one little minute on one of the biggest days of your life to take the chance to soak it all in with your guy by your side.  Oh, it's such a special time - I really can't sing it's praises enough!  Brides always want to see their grooms reaction when they finally see them in their beautiful gown for the first time.  A lot of times you get a more genuine and natural reaction from grooms during the first look vs. waiting until the ceremony because they can let their guard down within that private moment and not feel like their whole family (and yours!) are staring at him waiting for him to react to his beautiful bride. Talk about pressure!  First look photos continue to be some of my favorite from the wedding day.  As a planner, I advocate for a first look because it helps with the timeline SO much! Like Crystal said, the photos you want to frame and hang on your wall, to send out as Christmas cards, to show your children one day, etc. are the photos of you and your groom! So, why not make that a priority by getting those coveted photos taken first so that you can be sure that you do not lose any time.  Things happen on a wedding day, and although we do our best as planners to control the schedule, I can't control family members that walk away before photos are complete, or unforeseen distractions that push the timeline back.  All of that being said, it's your day and no one will (or should!) ever force you to do something. However, your vendors are professionals that have done this a time or two, so they are giving you advice based on experience.

Thanks so much for bringing your viewpoint as a photographer to this fun debate, Crystal!  For more information about a first look, check out this helpful video explanation from Every Last Detail, this rather humorous explanation from The Knotty Bride, and this article about wedding day photography from The Knot - check out number 9, y'all.

But, I really want to hear from you! Brides - are you considering a first look? What's your hesitation and/or concerns? And, former brides - let's hear your experience! Did you do it? Did you skip it?

XO,
A.

Inspiration: Neutral Tones

There is something so peaceful and beautiful about a neutral color palette.  And, lately, I've been so inspired by these neutral colors and the elegance that they can bring to almost any wedding style!  I love the effortless feeling of this inspiration board - lush greens, soft peaches, beautiful ivories and earthy beige.  A perfect palette for an outdoor Southern wedding under the oak trees!  This inspiration board incorporates the one of the Pantone 2014 trending colors - sand.  What do you think of neutral tones for wedding colors?  

XO,
A.

Wedding Inspiration: Vivid Love

Y'all know how much I love a bright color palette. Well, can you image how excited I am for Taylor and Kyle's sunny, citrus-inspired wedding full of beautiful yellows, oranges, pinks, mints and greys?!  The vivid colors fit Taylor to a tee - this girl is about a sweet as honey and can light up any room. We've been having so much fun planning for her May wedding at Byron's South End, and I want to share a bit of our inspiration with you!  Our bride's style is clean and classic, but with a funky twist.  So, we're pulling in some unique and fun details to mimic their lighthearted personalities. I just love these two, and cannot wait to see everything come together in a few short months!

XO,
A.

Inspiration: Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day Inspiration

Valentine's Day is one of my favorite days of the year! A day full of love and happiness? Yes, please - sign me up! I just can't get enough.  There are so many different kinds of love that we'll experience throughout our lives, and I feel so honored to have been a part of so many love stories over the years.  In honor of this special day, I've pulled together some Valentine's Day inspiration to share.

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I hope you get to hug someone you love and that your day is full of joy!  I am so grateful for all of the special people in my life - especially my sweet husband that is way too good for words and puts up with all my craziness. I'm a lucky lady!  And, I do hope y'all know how much each of you mean to me. Know that you are loved! And, I have to share this beautiful print from one of my favorite calligraphers, Laura Hooper, that is perfect for this love-filled day.

LH_Calligraphy

Happy Valentine's Day!

XO, A.

All Eyes on the Bride: Wedding Day Hair + Makeup

This post is part of a series of real questions, from real brides.  Do you have a question about wedding planning, or any part of the process? Ask me! I want to answer YOUR questions. To submit your questions, email me at ashley@gracefulhost.com.

Question: What do I need to know about wedding day hair and makeup? Is there something special that I need to do to prepare for the big day?

There is a whole lot of planning that goes into a wedding day.  And as a bride, I'm sure you're very much aware of your ever growing to-do list.  But, as you're carefully planning every last detail for your big day, it's important not to overlook a big part of your wedding - hair and makeup!  On the biggest day of your life, you want to look your best.  So, leave the beauty prep to a professional!  I've asked the oh-so-talented Kymm McLean from Who's The Fairest? to weigh in on some frequently asked bridal beauty questions.

1. What's your biggest advice to brides regarding a wedding beauty regimen? Keep it simple and don't stray from your regular routine. Definitely don't try anything new the week of your wedding! Unless you've tried it before and had good results, don't try it the week of your wedding - especially the day before your wedding. This includes waxing, facials, microdermabrasion, new cosmetic brands, new hair stylist, tanning, and many more. Anything that could potentially end in error, should be avoided.

2. The bride wakes up on her wedding day with a huge zit! Yikes! What's your recommendation to girls that have breakouts as the wedding day approaches and/or on the big day? A pimple is usually the result of excess oil getting trapped in the pore; however it can also be caused by hormonal imbalances caused by stress.  Since a pimple is just one little small area, there is no need to treat your entire face with strong products or medication. The best treatment is a spot treatment product for that one area: Boo Boo Zap!, Yes To Tomatoes, Acne Free are some great options.  You can also go by a medi-spa and get it "zapped" with a high frequency implement - don't worry, it's painless and takes only seconds - which will help speed up the drying/healing process.

3. What beauty service(s) should every bride absolutely, without exception, have on her wedding day? Certainly, makeup and hair.  Unless the brides hair is very short or naturally very curly and she is wearing it naturally.

4. What do you recommend all brides should do the morning of their wedding? The bride wakes up and then what are the first few things she should do before starting to get ready? Stick to your normal routine.  There is peace in familiarity, and feeling normal on your wedding day is important to keep the stress level at a minimum.  And, if bride had a little too much fun the night before, then hydrating is key.  Don't forget to eat breakfast and lunch - eating as well is important.  I see a lot of brides with nervous stomachs so keeping an antacid handy is also a great idea.

5. What is airbrush makeup? Do recommend this for bridal makeup? Airbrushing makeup is formulated to spray through a gun that sprays in tiny micronized droplets.  It "lays" on the skin, so it accentuates fine hairs, texture and pores.  And when your skin moves, it tends to "crackle" since the formulations tend to have a shellac finish to them. The product itself is very expensive with a very short shelf life, so once they expire, it separates and smells rotten. The airbrush machines are loud, bulky and difficult to transport, too.  They often clog which is a disaster because it takes a lot of time to disassemble them to clean and put back together.  (Precious time not available during a wedding beauty session.)  Also, the foundation may be self setting but you still need to set with a finishing powder to get a matte finish for photos - so what's the point of airbrushing?  You can't spray the eyes or lips so you still have to transport and apply traditional makeup, so again, what's the point?  I find it much more effective to apply a foundation with a brush and buff it into the skin so it looks like a part of the natural finish, and then setting with powder for a beautiful velvet finish.

6. What's something you wish all brides knew about wedding/bridal hair and/or makeup? Brides should book hair and makeup with a professional that schedules a practice session, so on the actual day, there are no surprises.  Aside from this, it's important that the bride work with someone that listens to her and finds out her daily makeup routine, her lifestyle and her exceptions on wedding day.  And, that professional should be able to incorporate those aspects while also achieving a style that photographs beautifully, lasts all day and night, and most importantly - makes the bride feel like she looks like herself, but just a bit more glamorous!

Thank you so much, Amanda, for the great question! Do you have a question about wedding planning that you’d like answered?  Email your question to ashley@gracefulhost.com.

XO,
A.

You're Engaged! Now what?

Congratulations on your engagement! I hope you've celebrated with friends and family, and you have popped more champagne than you could have ever imagined. It's important to soak in every single minute. After all, this is a huge milestone in your lives, as well as an exciting time for both your families. Your time as an engaged couple will fly by, so I encourage couples to do everything they possibly can to savor this special time in their relationship and to really enjoy planning for their special day.

It's no secret among anyone who's been there that engagements are full of emotion. Like, I'm talking a roller coaster ride full of emotions. Of course, the experience is different for everyone, but the basic emotions tend to be the same. First (and most importantly!), there's the extreme happiness knowing that you'll be spending the rest of your life with your best friend, experiencing all that life has to offer side-by-side. But, then once things settle down a bit you then start to think about actually planning for the wedding day, and you feel overwhelmed with where to even begin. Which can bring on the worry and fear that you want everything to be perfect, and for all of your guests to have fun at your reception, eating delicious food and partying all night long with a great band - but, how on Earth do you make this happen? There's the unique feeling of pure joy and anticipation when you finally find THE dress. There's the butterflies you feel as your wedding day get's closer and you arrive at your rehearsal realizing, "O-M-G. I'm actually getting married tomorrow!" And, of course all of the smiles and tears along the way. Regardless, it's a once in a lifetime experience that should be cherished and fun!

Pretty much every bride I come in contact with tells me the same thing - I have no idea where to begin with wedding planning. My response is, well why would you? I mean you've never planned a wedding before. So take some of that pressure off yourself and know that you're in the majority with that one - and, that's okay! Just like with anything else that is brand new to you, where you have no experience or information, research is key. You would do research before you buy a car, so why not do your research while planning for your wedding? It's pretty difficult to make a decision if you're not properly informed, so I encourage couples to do some reading - be a good consumer! - and look at real weddings so they have some sort of idea around the many, many, many options and decisions they're about to face.

So, you're engaged! Now what? Today, I'm sharing my top 3 recommendations to couples who are ready to start planning for their big day.

1. Determine your wedding planning budget. This is the biggest and most important step to getting started. I seriously cannot stress this enough, y'all. It can be a hard conversation to start, but it needs to happen before you can move forward with planning. If you don't outline a budget beforehand and know what you can spend, then how will you know how to make decisions? Once you have an overall budget set, a wedding planner can help you allocate your money so that you spend your budget in a smart and efficient way. Or your wedding planner can help you create a planning budget. Budget recommendations and tools from websites like The Knot can be helpful for some individuals, but it's not most. Each wedding is unique and each bride has her own set of priorities, so there is no such thing as a one size fits all wedding budget. That's where a wedding planner, someone who has an idea of what things actually cost, can help you budget your money efficiently so that all your needs are met. It's the first thing I do with my couples before moving on to step number 2.

2. Choose a few wedding dates. This can be tricky for busy couples, but it's important to have an idea of when you'd like to get married. Think of the time of year you'd like to get married and take into account things like national holidays, vacation time, family schedules, and yes, even things like sporting events/seasons and big conventions that can affect travel and/or accommodations. Once you've determined the time of year you'd like to tie the knot, then choose 2 to 3 dates - 1 date that is your first choice, but then 2 to 3 back-up dates incase the first date doesn't work out. Some venues can book up a year or two in advance! So, having those back-up dates outlined are good to have in your tool box, just in case. Then, you can tackle step number 3.

3. Get started on that guest list. Another difficult item on the checklists for brides and grooms, but one that will have a very big financial impact is the guest list. Long story short: the more people you invite, the more budget you will need to cover the cost of your guests. This is why setting a budget is an all too important first step. The number one way to cut costs when planning for your wedding is to cut your guest list. Obviously that can be difficult for couples with large families, but it's an important tip to remember when putting together a list of guests to invite to witness your marriage. If you need to be more budget conscious, consider inviting fewer guests to help keep costs low. There are a number of cost saving ways wedding planners can help couples who might want it all, but don't have the budget it afford it all.

Once you've checked off those three items from your list, then you can go on to look at venues and book wedding your vendors. If you're considering hiring a wedding planner, that should be the very first vendor you meet with after knocking out the steps above. Hiring a planner will give you the tools you need to have a stress-free, fun and organized experience planning for your wedding. A wedding planner is an important and valuable part of your wedding vendor team. The list of things a wedding planner handles for brides and grooms is not something a friend, mom, aunt or cousin can handle. For more information about getting started with planning your wedding and making some big decisions, I recommend starting here. Every wedding planner offers different services, and be sure to pay close attention to the wording being used - a wedding planner differs from a wedding coordinator. And not every wedding planner offers wedding design services. So if you're looking to hire a wedding planner, be sure to recognize the difference between the various types and choose the one that will serve you and your needs the best. You can read more about the various roles of wedding planners and coordinators: here and here and here.

The biggest tip I can give couples who are just starting to plan for their wedding is a simple concept at heart, but it can be hard to apply: "don't sweat the small stuff." Not everything will go as planned, not every dream will be realized, and it won't always be a fairy tale journey to the altar. But, who cares about any of that! The reason you're planning a wedding is to get married to the love of your life! As long as you two get married at the end of the day, then what else matters? So take it in stride if it rains on your wedding day and your outdoor ceremony is moved indoors. Don't stress out about the color of the napkins not being the same shade of pink as the flowers on the table. Let it roll off your back when family and/or friends give you grief over some of your decisions - it's your day, remember? And, look the other way when you realize that you don't have the budget for your favorite band AND a photo booth. None of that matters in the grand scheme of things.

You're engaged! Now start planning for your future together as Mr. and Mrs.! The Graceful Host offers full service wedding planning and design services - if you decide you need a little help. :) I'd love to talk to you about your wedding and see how I can help you plan for the best day ever. Come say hello!

XO,
A.

Inspiration: All That Glitters

There's something about glitter and sequins that just makes a girl feel special, you know?  I think it goes back to iconic characters like Dorothy from The Wizard Of Oz and her gorgeous ruby red glittery shoes.  Lately, I've been drawn to sequin-adorned anything!  From my usual browsing of Pintrest, I came across this amazing dress from Free People, and I was instantly flooded with snapshots full of glittery party details.  This adorable dress is the source of todays glitzy wedding inspiration. When it comes to wedding design, using a little sparkle and shine can go a long way.  Gone are the days when glittery details were solely reserved for holiday and New Years Eve parties.  No ma'am!  We can see a little shimmer in linens, paper goods, glassware, cake design, bar accessories, bridesmaids dresses, and of course, wedding shoes year round.  For the girl that wants to be truly dazzling on her wedding day, this is the inspiration for you!

All That Glitters

XO,

A.

Inspiration: A Touch of Modern + Vintage Glamour

With so many gorgeous weddings to look forward to in 2014, we've been busy, busy, busy creating a lot of beauty.  And, this wedding design is definitely one of my favorites! I met Whitley over the summer, and although she lives in St. Louis with her fiancé, we managed to nail down all her wedding details  and vendors within 4 months! This bride was determined to be done with wedding planning by the holidays. Well, mission accomplished!  I've had so much fun working with Whitley - I can't believe the big day will be here in 3 short months!

For her March wedding at Brakefield at Riverwalk, we're mixing elements of modern and vintage glamour.  Crystal adorned centerpieces, lush ivory floral, bold silver and charcoal textures will give our bride and groom the luxe and romantic wedding they've been dreaming of.  Oh, and her wedding dress - holy moly!!  I cannot wait to see this gorgeous wedding unfold!  Until then, I want to share some of our inspiration photos. Enjoy all the pretty!

Glamorous Silver, Grey and Ivory Wedding Inspiration

XO, A.

Inspiration: Navy, White + Green

You may remember this wonderful couple from their engagement session over the summer with Lauren Rosenau Photography. Katie & Eric are set to wed next April at the Mint Museum Uptown - and, I seriously cannot wait to see these two get married!  Our first consult was actually one year from today. (I swear I'm not a creepy stalker ... I'm just a good note taker! And I was reading some pervious notes last week, when I realized our "one year anniversary" is today!)  From that very first meeting, we just clicked.  This post is starting to sound like I'm in love with these two - and, you'd be totally right to make that assumption. This girl is just so amazing, and we've had an absolutely blast planning for her wedding.  I thought today would be just perfect for sharing their wedding design inspiration. Katie can only be described as a Kate Spade bride. She loves clean lines, effortless style and chic patterns in all the right places.  With a color palette of navy blue, ivory and kelly green, I think even Kate herself would love what we've come up with.  I love the use of elements like geometric patterns and architecturally-inspired flowers mixed with clean and simple lines.  Brides often ask about mixing themes - and I say why not?!  I encourage taking elements or inspiration from a theme and, in some cases, altering it a bit to fit into a design plan in a cohesive way.  For this wedding design, we've taken a pretty traditional color palette and classic ideas but we infused a little modern flare in the execution through pops of graphic patterns and fun textures.  I always appreciate brides that are willing to take a few steps outside the box, and stretch their design comfort level to reach a whole new level of "wow".  I cannot wait to see this wedding unfold!  Take a peek at our inspiration, and let me know you what you think.

NavyWhiteGreenWeddingInspiration_K&E

XO, A.

Inspiration: Ivory + Blush

There is nothing more romantic than a sweet, soft, timeless color palette like ivory and blush, with some metallic touches of course.  Ya'll know how much I just love love love metallic!  But, oh my goodness, I cannot wait for Keely and Hill's gorgeous Southern wedding at Boxwood Estate next May!!  We've wrapped up some design plans recently - and I just couldn't wait to share!  I'm in love with Keely's amazing simplistic, yet glamorous style.  Take a peek at a few of our inspiration photos for the big day!

XO, A.